There was a lot of good swag at SXSW, most of it in the form of promotional trinkets that a self-describedly net savvy individual such as myself will proudly add to the constellation of brands that define his persona, despite their uncaring and inhuman nature (they would take our blood if it could be used to cool CPUs). In fact, I'm wearing a Yahoo Pipes t-shirt right now. Capitalism works!

I didn't realize it at the time, but the best or at least most interesting swag came in the tote bag that every attendee received. For one thing, there was the pin from MAKE Magazine that I cherish but have already almost managed to destroy. But this curiousity was even more striking:

I didn't have the guts to try it, but Ben did. "My hands feel great," he said, after an initial period of wondering whether it would do anything. "They're all cool and relaxed." Presumably this was menthol Nicogel.

I'd try it, but I'm too chicken — I feel like I use my hands an awful lot. So I've given it to Charles, who seems to be in the Nicogel's target market. Hopefully he'll give it a shot and report back.

Even better, though, was the unassuming inclusion of a copy of Wizard, which was one of many magazines in the packet (Linux Journal is really good!). Any other nerds reading this will probably be familiar with Wizard. During our childhood it served primarily as a price guide for comics, reporting made-up numbers that were supposed to chart a complex economy defined by two whole companies and a million parents' basements. It always sounded like an interesting thing to read, and sort of was — until you realized that reading actual comic books was way more fun than reading meta comic books.

Nowadays it's a bit glossier and more accessible. In this issue, at least, there are a lot of two-page spreads devoted to essays on things like "What's in store for the X-Men in 2007?" They get quotes from comic writers and artists, and everyone talks about the characters as if they were real people (just like in Soap Opera Digest, if the covers are any indication). It certainly helped me figure out some of the gibberish that Kriston and Matt have been spouting the last few months. I may even make the effort and catch up with this whole "Civil War" storyline.

But Wizard is no longer just about comics. They've also branched out into the wider geek world. And although they're not the greatest interviewers in the world, the writers proceed with an entertaining lack of pretension. Let's be honest: nobody gives a fuck what a producer from Lost thinks about mythological archetypes. They just want to know who the Others are, and when Kate and Sawyer are going to do it. Wizard is sensitive to this fact. Every question in every interview could be rewritten as, "No, seriously, give us some spoilers." It's great.

And in this issue there is, in fact, an interview about Lost. It's with David Lindelof, one of the show's creators. You can find it here, and it's wonderful. Not because it contains any satisfying revelations about the plot — it doesn't reveal anything. But at the very end it officially releases Lost dead-enders like myself from the show's infuriating grip:

You’ve said that there is a sort of five-season plan in place for "Lost." Are you guys still on track for that plan?

Did I say that?

I think you said it...

I think that’s one of those things that has been attributed to me that no one has actually said. There have been sort of vague questions as to how much story we have or what the plan is, and I think that the only thing that I’ve ever said on the record is that if we were in a position to actually end the show on our own terms, that it would probably be at the end of four years. That would be the ultimate nexus point for the show. But unfortunately, it’s completely moot whether it’s four years or five years or seven years, because I don’t own the show and [co-creator and executive producer] J.J. [Abrams] doesn’t own the show and [executive producer] Carlton [Cuse] doesn’t own the show - Touchstone and ABC own the show. And as long as it’s a show that is popular and that people are watching, they’ll never let us end it, which is sad and depressing.

There you have it: confirmation of the show's inevitable X-Filesification. The only thing you can do is stop watching, then swoop back in when its cancellation has been announced. Thank you, Wizard.

And thank you for tricking Emily into reading you. Guys, how many times have you been asked to analogize Marvel vs. DC to Playstation vs. Xbox? I don't even think she was asking it sarcastically. Not entirely, anyway.