Don't make me pick a favorite:

• McDonald's "Southern Style" Chicken Sandwich As the commercial points out, this is less a fried chicken and pickle sandwich than an ascendant generation's rallying cry. These people have different habits — and tastes! And they're not going to submit to the tyranny of traditional breakfast, old man. Also, the chicken is juicy and perfectly seasoned, two points which I'm mentioning in an entirely ordinary, conversational way.
  
  I wanted to reach out to the screen and plaintively tell these hip young sandwich consumers that I, too, have eaten chicken for breakfast. I understand! Oh god, take me with you! But their faces would have been no less implacable had they been in the room instead of on the screen. My time is over. I must go into the West, and diminish.
• Liberty/Freedom/Independence Disposable Catheters: DID YOU KNOW that a recent Medicare decision means that you no longer have to suffer with reusable catheters? I sure was sick of the tedious boiling and sterile procedure associated with my reusable catheters. But it was hard for a comparatively sexy, somewhat vivacious catheter user like myself to find time to call. Finally, my mother (STILL ALIVE) convinced me. Boy, am I glad I did! The folks at Liberty/Freedom/Independence were so friendly (YOU WILL BE LESS ALONE), and now I have much more time for my active lifestyle, pictured here (GINGERLY BENDING DOWN TO PET CAT). I use Liberty/Freedom/Independence every time I "cath"! (EW)