But I am in possession of not one but six chances at winning an entire pig thanks to the good people at the Montgomery County Fair 4-H Raffle. If I seem overly excited, I apologize. But I feel this is the rare sort of thing that justifies using multiple forms of textual emphasis in a single sentence.

The thing is billed as coming "ready to go in the fridge" but I have to confess I don't know what that means. Am I entitled to hooves? The snout? What if I'm in need of sausage casing?

Well, the drawing's not until the 16th. I'll figure it out then, no doubt.