Archive for the ‘pop culture’ Category

Smuggling Varmints Unethically

I didn’t see this episode so I can’t say for sure, but the Law & Order: SVU that I just watched with Charles seems like a strong contender for greatest of all time. That’s not saying much, of course, since Law & Order is a terrible, terrible franchise. Still, check out the plot summary as I related it to Emily:

There was a girl found shot but then she wasn’t but it turned out to be her twin, except then also she had tiger bites on her, so of course they figured it was the tiger of this rap star (played by the guy from Outkast), but DNA proved it wasn’t, so then Big Boi says the girl was part of an exotic animal smuggling ring and takes Stabler to them posing as a customs official who wants to become corrupt, and he steals some hair and it was THAT TIGER, but then Big Boi gets eaten by hyenas (which we know because a CSI said “check out that hyena vomit” and his chain was in it) so then Stabler goes back to the smugglers and tries to become better friends and sees a lady with a weird vest and the bad guys say “everyone is always picturing her naked, they don’t stop to think about whether she’s smuggling turtle eggs”, which proves how ingenious (aka evil) they are.


SO the bad guys keep feeling out Stabler as a fake customs agent and they want him to help smuggle a VERY RARE GIBBON, and he does but they get suspicious and shoot him, but he’s okay and they set up a sting at the airport where the gibbon is being brought into the country via a basketball, and they catch the bad guys in the act of selling it to an asian guy and the bad guys say “gentleman, there are now only SIXTEEN of these gibbons left in the wild, hahaha.”


But then the cops arrive and everyone runs over rooftops and almost falls down, except it turns out one of the two bad guys was an undercover cop all along and the other smuggler is JUST THE TIP OF THE ANIMAL SMUGGLING ICEBERG!


whew


so that’s how it ended

Yes, the MPAA may hunt you down (like so many gibbons) if you illegally download the episode. But are you really prepared to depend on NBC’s rerun-scheduling caprice when it comes to something so obviously awesome?

the discerning aesthete’s guide to media designed for teenage boys

The new Bond movie: I liked it! The only film in the series that it seems worthwhile to compare it to is Casino Royale, and on that score it’s a mixed bag. On the one hand, Quantum of Solace‘s best parts are not as good as those of Casino Royale, if only because they don’t involve awesome footchases built around parkour. On the other hand, QoS‘s worst parts manage to avoid the inclusion of high-stakes poker tournaments run by the villain, by which point in the movie it has been established that the local police force is in Bond’s pocket so why don’t they just arrest this guy anyway?

Seriously: a poker tournament?! I can only assume that the people responsible for that decision will one day look back upon it and be as deeply ashamed as if they had written a getaway chase set on razor scooters, or a part for a villainous master-blogger, or an Aston Martin with an advanced camouflage system based on hypercolor t-shirt technology. Topicality is not the Bond series’ strong suit. Also, as evil character tics go, having an inhaler is pretty lame — particularly if it isn’t used to kill anybody.

The new movie avoided those sorts of problems, instead opting for the more commonly accepted practice of just having lots of enormous plot holes. Why are the villains eschewing petrotyranny in favor of a plot to extract a somewhat higher profit margin on municipal water in Bolivia (the dastards!)? Why was that exploding hotel built out of hydrogen, again?

But all this is well within acceptable action movie tolerances, and Daniel Craig is pretty awesome. Also: I liked the title, dammit! I must reluctantly conclude that those who disagree are just mean.


Gears of War 2 has been acquired, partly on the strength of this New Yorker profile of its lead designer, sent to me by my coworker Brian (be sure to also check out this comments-section exchange between the author and a critic, which Jason pointed out to me). It’s shaping up to be the biggest Xbox release of the holiday season. If you’d like to come find me on XBL, my gamertag is Club Loser. Let me assure you: I’m quite bad.

I realize it’s curmudgeonly of me, but I can’t help but be dismayed by this generation’s videogame franchises. Back in my day (*stretches, pats belly*) our shooters stuck to paper-thin premises that were patently ludicrous and profoundly derivative, but which provided plenty of room for awesome non-sequiturs. There’s, uh, a portal to hell on Mars? And things are coming through it? Sure, let’s go with that — Aliens was pretty awesome, right? Or hey, maybe there’s an intergalactic tournament where kidnapped fighters from all over the galaxy are brought and forced to fight for some reason? It was cool when it happened to Bruce Lee, and he didn’t even have a rocket launcher.

These days, things are a bit more homogenous and overengineered. The two biggest shooter franchises for Xbox are Halo and Gears of War. In one of them, superhumans on a distant planet are locked in a pitched battle against vaguely reptilian alien hordes driven by a crazed prophetic religion. In the other, superhumans on a distant planet are locked in a pitched battle against vaguely insectoid alien hordes who seem to feel it’s not polite to discuss religion in a social or battlefield setting.

All of this is fine. The resulting movies and novelizations are irritating in principle, but also fine so long as you avoid watching or reading them — people like making money, after all. What’s very, very irritating, though, is the compulsory delusion among the fanboy set which maintains that the settings and plots for these games are anything other than incredibly awful, derivative, sub-fanfic-level dreck, utterly unworthy of respect or serious consideration. Instead I end up reading gaming press pieces which assume that I know or care what the Pillar of Autumn is, or which include quotes from the games’ creators that say things like “we think there’s a lot more to explore in the Halo universe”. Sure! Of course! Who wouldn’t want to see what wonders await us in a fictional world that includes ideas as original as lasers and machineguns and jeeps (oh, the jeeps!). Also there’s a bunch of stuff stolen from Larry Niven, but with fewer words.

I suppose I should just avoid those articles. But I need to know about the comparative deadliness of the next rocket launcher iteration! Or which add-on maps I’m going to be forced to buy! Or the next initiative that will try (and fail) to make teenagers on Xbox Live a bit less racist and homophobic.

None of this actually diminishes my excitement at the prospect of brutalizing strangers’ avatars from the comfort of my home. There’s skill involved, the gameplay is well-tuned, and it’s thrilling to win. I just wish there were fewer pretentious narrative trappings surrounding the experience — or, if we really can’t pare things down to a minimal core of deadliness, that the narrative filigrees could be made with a sense of good humor rather than just the idiot earnestness of the hack-who-doesn’t-know-it.


Also: to put all this into perspective, I spent yesterday playing laser tag.

it’s this obscure little radio show

Megan doesn’t care for Matt Taibbi’s takedown of Byron York, in which Taibbi makes it sound like York has no idea what he’s talking about with respect to the financial crisis.

Naturally, I have no idea about any of this stuff other than feeling vaguely hostile toward Byron York. Still, I was a little uncomfortable when I first read that exchange: Taibbi’s scolding about credit default swaps came at a time when a lot of other people on the internet were also suddenly speaking knowledgeably about the financial meltdown and the rarified financial instruments to blame for it. That wave of spontaneous expertise seemed to occur suspiciously shortly after the air date of an episode of This American Life that discussed the crisis and CDSes in particular.

Which is not to say that TAL is wrong; I listened to that episode, too, and it seemed excellent! But it’s been both amusing and off-putting to see so many people brazenly parroting the same single News Source White People Like. I have no idea if this criticism actually applies to Taibbi, but the conversation between him and York certainly made it sound like it could.

UPDATE: Since Megan kindly linked back to me, I should probably add that while I can’t be sure that my speculation about Taibbi’s argument is correct, it’s very clear that York’s pathetic line about Freddie and Fannie is a regurgitated conservative talking point — a particularly lame, objectionable and well-debunked one at that. It seems likely that both sides of that conversation were blindly reciting other people’s arguments.

NBC forced me to have these thoughts

Curse them and their Olympic advertising:

  • Does Visa really think this “only card accepted at the Olympics” business is a good idea? How many people hear that boast and think “Oh shit! Good thing I went with Visa — I’d hate to have to visit an ATM four years from now, maybe.” My guess: fewer than the number that realize that Visa has taken their money and spent it on a) making other companies’ customers’ lives slightly less convenient and b) getting Morgan Freeman to relay that accomplishment to us.
  • Kath and Kim. Maybe you’ll be funny! You’ve got Selma Blair on your cast, and if someone’s good enough for Hellboy she’s good enough for me. But it’s pathetically clear that you really, really want us to think you’re like Arrested Development, sort of. And the shadow of Molly Shannon looms. I fear you, and for you.

it’s authenticity day at Manifest Density

Spencer’s right: I shouldn’t get myself tangled up in questions of potato chip birthrights. Perhaps my intemperate comments were motivated by jealousy. After all, it’s not like you can buy Utz Chili Half Smoke Chips. The Crab Chip belongs to Baltimore; maybe I only think I don’t want it because I know it can never truly be mine.

But the point of that post stands! On Friday night, thanks to Ficke and Becks’ generous snack-procurement, I had some Crab Chips back to back with Carolina Style BBQ Chips. I may have underestimated the Crab Chip, but Carolina BBQ remains the superior snack food.

more of one thing doesn’t mean less of another

Emily Gould, whose name I continue to be unable to read without thinking of evil alien parasites, has an article in Technology Review, of all places, in which she continues her new career as a professional haver of mixed feelings about the internet.

Specifically, she’s talking about Clay Shirky’s book, which she characterizes more or less fairly as a triumph of internet triumphalism — one that’s impressive, of course, but which ignores (of course) the ineffable something or other that we’re all losing in this topsy-turvy world.

Like an expatriate who reads every new novel that’s set in her homeland, I read books about the Internet to remember the time I spent working and living there, to contrast my memories with the authors’ impressions and see how well they hold up. In Shirky’s descriptions of the way new Web-based social tools are restructuring businesses, communities, and relationships, I recognize familiar scenery. He knows what he’s talking about–he’s lived there too. You get the sense, though, that he’s somehow managed to avoid walking down any dark alleys, or staring too long at any piles of fetid garbage.

To make her case she invokes Walter Benjamin’s famous essay The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction, which I probably should already be familiar with but in fact just read this morning.

Shirky even believes that technology is creating and enabling “love”; when he talks about the hundreds of thousands of people who are collaboratively building Wikipedia, he says they “love one another in its context.” He fails to mention–or maybe he fails to notice–that the “love” and “freedom” he describes don’t mean quite what they did back when our meat acquaintances outnumbered our Facebook “friends.”


Maybe, in the same way that Benjamin says the difference between “follow[ing] with the eye, while resting on a summer afternoon, a mountain range on the horizon” and experiencing that same mountain range at a remove (imagine a picture postcard) makes it harder to appreciate the real thing (“Gosh, this mountain is beautiful! Just like a postcard!”), social-media technologies are creating simulacra of social connection, facsimiles of friendship. By ignoring that difference, as Shirky mostly does, we keep moving heedlessly toward a future where the basic human social activities that these new technologies are modeled on–talking, being introduced to new people by friends–are threatened.

But Gould is simplifying what Benjamin actually says. His essay’s most relevant portions concern the changing nature of art in the face of technology that can reproduce it. And yes, he says that something is lost:

Even the most perfect reproduction of a work of art is lacking in one element: its presence in time and space, its unique existence at the place where it happens to be. This unique existence of the work of art determined the history to which it was subject throughout the time of its existence.


[...]


One might subsume the eliminated element in the term “aura” and go on to say: that which withers in the age of mechanical reproduction is the aura of the work of art.

This isn’t just wistfulness, though. Sure, Benjamin notes with sadness the loss of opportunities for considering art on its own terms, rather than the mass-production-enabled use of it as grist for the culture’s neverending cocktail party chatter. But he also notes aura’s exclusivity and the elitism that’s only possible through scarcity. He’s not bemoaning the decline of aura, per se, just observing it. Dude’s a Marxist — the democratization afforded by reproduction and the “emancipa[tion of] the work of art from its parasitical dependence on ritual” is right up his alley.

So here’s where Gould gets it wrong. Yes, there is something missing from online interactions. But that’s not some privileged insight about the nature of our new, electronic world — it’s the most basic one. Worse, it’s a dead end. Noting the validity of holisticism is fine, but the only place you can go from there is mysticism, and that’s no use to anybody.

Gould thinks Shirky is a callow idealist, but he’s not. He’s just noting the incredible bounty that technology can afford us while politely declining to complain about the places where it falls short.

Not only is Gould preoccupied with the latter, she’s blind to the former. And hey, I can relate. Digital technology has its own Benjaminian aura, you know — excitement born of novelty, and exclusivity, and revolutionary rhetoric. Once that novelty wears off, though, things can start to look kind of drab. I mean, it’s exciting that the world has collaboratively built an encyclopedia! But it is an encyclopedia. And the idea of an encyclopedia — a comprehensive reference document written without passion or position — is actually kind of boring. The same holds for social communication and our lofty rhetoric about the triumph of a world where information can flow freely. Once you’re done patting yourself on the back you need to start paying attention to what people are actually saying. And that’s hard. Sometimes it’s even boring.

It’s depressing when you realize how much of your excitement about a thing was tied up in its aura; to find out that superficial considerations formed the basis of your enthusiasm. I struggle with this myself: I’m overcome with contempt at every useless, vowel-less internet startup I see, its founders desperate to think of themselves as brilliant revolutionaries despite no one — least of all them — actually caring a whit about what they say they’re trying to do. But that contempt is motivated in no small part by feeling the exact same ignoble impulse.

But this is my own failing, and, I suspect, Gould’s. It doesn’t make any less important those advances, the ones we thought we believed in. It just means that we overstated their importance in the first place, or exaggerated our level of interest in them as we fell in love with their aura. Either way it was self-flattery, and we have only ourselves to blame.

savoring every drop of Watchmen-related media

Yglesias links to Entertainment Weekly’s chat with Zack Snyder, director of the upcoming Watchmen movie adaptation, and hatches a promising new conspiracy theory. I haven’t got much to add, but I do want to point out this Q&A between Snyder and Wizard Magazine. I understand the reservations about Snyder — and I share them, to some extent — but he’s certainly saying all the right things.

things said so often during olympic telecasts that they cannot possibly be true

  1. “This is the second most popular sport in the world after soccer.”
  2. “She is one of the most famous people in China.”
  3. “Michael Phelps is charismatic and his races are interesting to watch.” (implied)
  4. “Russian tanks are rolling into Georgia.”

I’m on to you!

grudging acceptance

Last night’s Samantha Brown episode about DC: actually pretty good. I suppose it ought to have been, since the Travel Channel is based in Chevy Chase. Still, it was kind of surprising to see someone do a not half-bad job representing the city. Brown herself is charming and funny, and I hear she killed Andrew Zimmern in personal combat in order to land her own show. Hell, I would’ve given her a show for any two of those three.

take THAT, Ezra

This (via Ezra) is a pretty fun little toy — it uses this clever hack to figure out what sites you’ve recently visited, then compares it to demographic data from Quantcast to determine whether you’re male or female. My results:

That’s right: my overpowering masculinity extends far; yea, even unto the document object model.

Actually, though, I think I probably got this result in a nontypical way, as my browser history currently contains no links to ESPN. The most incriminating domains on my list include jeroenwijering.com, digikey.com and, um, washingtontimes.com (I don’t read it for the articles! I swear!).

That, or maybe the script noticed that yesterday I read an article about Tucker Max. Based on that datum alone the script should not only be able to tell that I’m male but also that I’m an asshole.